This project, Childish Gambino’s Awaken, My Love! (2016), sat in my sewing bag 95% complete for 6+ months. While 2017 was an incredibly productive year for me, it was also an incredibly difficult one. It taught me a lot about cycles of trauma, narcissism, and abuse – as well as the courage it takes to break out of them.
I first had the idea to stitch the album when “Redbone” dropped a few weeks after the 2016 election (aka, the kickoff to Traumafest 2017). Like most well-intentioned, but self-centered White people, I sank into a deep depression immediately afterwards. The song gave me a beacon of hope and the cross-stitching was a relaxing way to calm my scattered mind.
Bonus: After Traumafest 2017, when I found myself in a new living situation with only about 10 boxes worth of possessions to my name, I’d lay on my friend’s guest room bed, holding my cat Lola, and watching YouTube for hours at a time. For whatever reason, of all the videos I watched, she was incredibly fascinated by this one, which further demonstrates Donald Glover’s musical genius (song starts at 1:17).
I’ve had a difficult last couple of months, but have also found a level of strength and self-acceptance that I didn’t think I had in me. For this comic, I’m using pop culture to explain some of this journey.
Recently, I created a page to showcase videos of performance and teaching, which I’ll be adding to regularly. My first videos are from last Friday’s performance with Ann Reynolds as part of her monthly Instrumental Ladies of Jazz series at Caffè Musica in Seattle, Washington. Ann and I started playing together a decade ago. For several years, we did regular duo gigs at Serafina restaurant and developed a deep musical connection. We lost our regular gig about a year ago, so it was great to work in a duo setting again. Many thanks to bassist Jeff Baran, who recorded and edited video of the concert.
Howdy and happy holidays, everyone! I could cap off the year with a treatise on trauma and redemption – but instead am sharing a calendar I made for my mom combining two of her favorite things: Minions and Idris Elba.
For better or worse, I tend to jump between obsessions – certain books/ideas that I cram into just about every conversation. My current obsession is the book Tribal Leadership. I’ve summarized the ideas in the infographic above – individuals and groups go through five stages from least to most productive:
“Life sucks”: Alienated and nihilistic, individuals are focused on survival (examples of groups include gangs and prisons).
“My life sucks (and it’s your fault)”: Separate and resentful, individuals feel powerless to advance in life (examples of groups include many office environments – represented in the comic “Dilbert,” the movie “Office Space,” etc.)
“I’m great (but you’re not)”: Personal and self-centered, individuals are focused on gaining competitive advantage over others (examples of groups include most corporate cultures – personified by our current commander in chief (who is mentioned repeatedly in the book (which was written back in 2008) as the patron saint of Stage 3)
“We’re great (but they’re not)”: Partnership-based and productive, individuals set aside their egos to work together (examples of groups include high-functioning companies such as Apple)
“Life is great”: Team-based and transformative, this is Stage 4 teams working at their very best – with the only competition being what’s possible
The problem with music – along with many other competitive fields – is that most people get stuck in Stage 3. I haven’t been immune to this – I’ve gotten snagged on personal development and self-promotion. To get from Stage 3 to Stage 4, individuals must go through an epiphany and realize that true happiness and impact comes from working with and to help others – not from being the best at your own thing. Most musicians recognize that Stage 4 groups vastly outperform Stage 3 groups, but few are willing to let go of their ego enough to make the shift themselves.
Right now, I’m figuring out how to help people progress through these stages through my performances, teaching, and publications. The main challenge is that people can only move up one stage at a time (or from the lower part of a stage to the middle-upper part). Thus, I’ll encounter groups where everyone is at roughly the same level musically, but at very different stages of Tribal Leadership. It’s challenging, but it’s no longer “me” against the world – it’s “us” plugging into the full potential of the tribe.